All my life I was a victim of being a certain way as a result of the things I had been through. About 3 years ago when my soon to be ex husband & I were having marital problems I used up the last bit of some money I had saved to pay for a marriage counselor. There we addressed many things, including things that happened to me as a child that truly scarred me for life. Those situations made me cold and seperated. I learned alot about myself and from that day fourth I made a promise to myself. I promised not to let certain situations affect who was, who I wanted to be. By doing that I began to see the world in a new way, things started to look up. But as of late so many bad things have happened back to back that my heart can’t help but put a guard up. The coldness is slowly creeping in. I try not to but my heart feels so battered that it naturally puts a guard up even though my mind tries to tell me otherwise. Today I realized how angry I am becoming and I don’t like it very much. Its not who I want to be. My heart aches and my attitude towards it sucks. Im slowly putting myself in an emotional cocoon. Im blocking out any type of emotional connection. Im hoping that by realizing what is happening I can convince my heart to soften up. Lets see.