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Because it sounds better than to say I miss him, I’m going to blame this whole feeling down thing on me feeling sick and my premenstrual emotional spike. of course it didn’t make it any better than yesterday was Throwback Thursday and he sent me a few pics of us when we were teens, just starting to build our little family. I got in the car and decided to try to make up my mind that I hate him, just so that I wouldn’t feel this emptiness that I’ve been feeling lately. I kept repeating, He sucks, I hate him, I don’t miss him, he sucks. I said it one last time and decided to  try some musical therapy. I turn on my favorite station to the very last part of Stronger by Kelly Clarkson, ha I think to myself, just what i needed!! I sing along with the best Kelly Clarkson voice I have and then it ends. The Dj comes on and talk a little and says “now for some old school, its only right because its Throwback Thursday.” Then this comes on

He dedicated this song to me when our first daughter was 2, we were going through a rough patch. I remember exactly what he said to me that day, If I close my eyes I can remember the cologne he wore. My eyes immediately filled with tears, I quickly scrambled for my glasses and let it all out. It’s hard to let go of someone who you’ve had so many good and bad memories with. It’s hard to let go of someone who can’t let go of you. I officially hate being a girl and hate Throwback Thursday!!!

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