, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Self love So for the past few months I’ve been dating this guy, we have a lot of history together and all though that could sometimes be a little bad its been working for us lately. I thought that after being so heartbroken I could never bring my self to love again. It was hard at first because I was so guarded but I slowly let the true me emerge. Don’t get me wrong i still am a bit guarded and there are days I wake up and I feel a certain type of way.  Looking back I’m happy I didn’t jump from one relationship to another. I know sometimes we tend to do that so we could heal or forget but all that isn’t really healing its pushing aside the things that we don’t want to confront. I spent many days crying my little eyes out, many days analyzing and over analyzing the things that went wrong and what I could have done differently, plotting my revenge (which I totally got all gory with) but never really put them into action, many hours blaming myself then blaming him. I read books, lots and lots of them. I remember the very first book I picked up was The Wedding by Nicholas Sparks. I think every married or divorced woman should read. I focused on doing things that would make me smile, I focused on being a better mother. I spend many days alone and many surrounded by people who believed in me, people that I could feed off of their great energy.  So the point is that I focused on me, on creating a woman who would be happy with herself, because if I learned anything from all of this is that you can’t make someone truly happy if you don’t feel good about yourself, if you don’t truly love yourself.