article, better, crying, dependent, done reading, father, first born, full time job, growing, household, juggling, light spped, mom, more time, mother, over compensate, parenting, partime job, play, sad, school, second born, Stupid Teenager, suffocate, summs up, teach, toodler, years, youngest
As my youngest is growing, which almost feels like at the speed of light, I’ve realized that I haven’t been as good as a mom to her as I was with my first-born. I was 15 when I had my first kid, when she was 2 I started working a part-time and went to school but the first two years of her existence my only focus was school, house duties and her. I had more time to spend with her, I took pictures, too many videos,played with her A LOT, and took more time to try to teach her things. With my second I was already working a full-time job and finishing up a Technical school by the time my second one was 6 months her father and I had split up and I suddenly found myself juggling a household, a 5-year-old that was miserable because she saw so much fighting, a toddler, work and being a stupid teenager. It makes me sad because I know I could have done better with her. I look back and I can definitely say I raised them differently. I’m trying to be the parent i should have been. In the past two years I feel like I’ve tried so hard I suffocate her at times.Honestly at times I feel like I’m trying to over compensate for the lack of parenting when she was a itty bitty baby that I’m making her too dependent on me. I read a lot of articles and in one of my reads I found an article that nailed to the tee how I felt about raising my second born. This article just summed up everything I felt. I cant even lie, by the time I was done reading I was crying.